Personhood and the Trojan War

JP

If I am a person, I must be a threat to Planned Parenthood's profits.

There is a serious threat to the Trojans! Not to mention the Durexes, Lifestyles, and the rest of the products available at condomman.com! What can it be, that could wipe out not only the condom market, but the entire birth control industry in one fell swoop? What has the power to exert such a forceful blow to the business of pregnancy prevention? Is it a pending natural disaster? Could it be that all the water supplies on Earth will be contaminated with Salt Peter?

What weapon has the capacity to destroy the birth control pill factories and alter the sexual behavior of human beings? It is the most dastardly, the most heinous… it is the Personhood Initiative! Aarghhh! Run for your (sex) lives!

Who knew the sweeping ramifications of legally recognizing the unborn as persons? If personhood movements are successful, one might never again be able to legally practice “common forms of birth control.” Ridiculous, you say? Not if you are the ” advocacy / political arm of Planned Parenthood Federation of America” and you grasp for straws against any measure that may threaten your lucrative abortion mill bonanza!

I follow Planned Parenthood Action Center on Twitter as a means of keeping abreast of the actions taken by the enemies of the unborn. Here is a tweet exchange from the other day:

Planned Parenthood

PPactPlanned Parenthood

.@_juliannemoore: Hard to believe in 2012, birth control is being threatened. Can’t imagine more impt election for women to get involved in!

Sam Pierce

@sepierce Sam Pierce
@PPact @_juliannemoore Birth control is threatened or is birth control provided with other people’s money threatened?
Planned Parenthood

PPactPlanned Parenthood

@sepierce Proposals like “personhood” initiatives could in fact outlaw common forms of birth control.
Sam Pierce

sepierceSam Pierce

@
@PPact I suppose advocates of killing the innocent would view it that way. Thank you for the service of identifying celebrity pro-aborts!

Following the advocates of baby slaughter can also help in identifying celebrities whose work you may not want to pay to see or hear. The benefits at least partially offset the disgust one might endure when reading the disinformation and advocacy of baby killing.

Imagine how stupid PPact must believe its audience to be. To protect the profits and one of the few rights supported by the left (ever notice that they only support rights that when exercised adversely affect another?) they make outrageous claims such as the one above. Or is it outrageous? Perhaps I am missing the threat. I am after all, no expert on birth control. My co-workers believe that I don’t even know what causes my wife to give birth roughly every two and a half years. How could we have seven kids when it is so uncool to breed?

Yes, I think I must be mistaken. Let’s look into this a little further. I mean, if a celebrity like Julianne Moore is against recognizing the most innocent as persons, there must be a reason. I may need your help in figuring out all the ramifications. According to those who profit from killing babies, if a baby is recognized as a person prior to the head being delivered, the following would be outlawed:

  1. Condoms
  2. Birth Control Pills
  3. IUDs
  4. Hormone Patches
  5. Vasectomies
  6. Tubal Ligations
  7. Withdrawing Prior To Ejaculation
  8. Monitoring The Woman’s Cycle and Abstaining During Fertility
  9. Abstaining

Some may take issue with my list of to-be-outlawed methods, but I make no claim that it is complete. Of course, I do not include so-called “Emergency Contraception” and Abortion on the list, because as a decent human being , I know that it is too late once the decision to have sex is carried to its end. Naturally, the death profiteers would view the post-coital methods as “common forms of birth control” in order to keep the cash flowing.

I can see how some of the methods involving manufactured or purchased items could be outlawed, but not by personhood initiatives (despite the protestations of those with the abortion agenda or know-it-all law students who believe their logic class and knowledge of legal precedents arms them with unquestionable omniscience). How would outlawing the others work?

Does the liberal mind conjure a society in which a couple would have to provide evidence of sexual intercourse at some set frequency? Who would determine how often the couple would be required to have sex? If this is not done, how will the legal authorities know that they have not abstained?

Will every gynecologist be required to take semen samples from their patients to ensure that they and their partners have not been practicing “common forms of birth control?” How often? This could be good for business and create quite a demand for gynecologists…as well as maternity nurses, obstetricians, and pediatricians.

If PPact’s demagoguery were remotely true, would the personhood initiative be considered a stimulus package? What else would you call a plan that mandates everyone to engage in frequent, unprotected sex. Oh, and which will result in increased demand in many career fields.

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